Poetry Friday

For the first time ever I've decided to participate in Poetry Friday. However, instead of supplying you with the poem I am going to urge you to read Meow Ruff: A story in concrete poetry by Joyce Sidman. My favorite style of poetry is concrete poetry and this book is the perfect balance of adorable illustration and awe-inspiring poetry. I've taken the first page from the Amazon Look Here feature so you can get a feel for it, but keep in mind that it by no means does this book justice. Check it out of your library yesterday if you haven't had the pleasure of viewing it!

Review: The Chocolate War

This is one of the first times I've seen third person omniscient narrator work to a great effect. Sure, it creeps up a lot in fantasy and is well done enough, but this book rocked it. In the beginning the chapters alternate between the two main characters, the first dedicated to Jerry, our protagonist, second going to Archie and then swapping between the two for a while. Then when the chocolate sale begins and Jerry refuses to accept his chocolates, the reader is deprived of Jerry's P.O.V; building suspense for what motivates him to decline to carry on his preparatory school's long-standing tradition.

The narration then shifts to the population of the all boys school at large, capturing the atmosphere created by Jerry's chocolate refusal, which does not bode well for the fund raising efforts. A secret society known as the Vigils attempts to persuade Jerry to sell his chocolates, to no avail. An all out war breaks loose as the sway of the Vigils is strong, leading to every other student besides Jerry to step up their chocolate game. Does Jerry succeed or is he eventually worn down and made to sell his chocolate bars? Will the Vigils continue to dominate the school?

First line of book:

"They murdered him."

Scrapblog in the library

I am an avid scrapbooker and was always hesitant to continue this hobby because of the expensive materials required and the amount of paper needed goes against my fervent anti-deforestation cause. This all changed last March when I discovered my favorite website ever. Ever. Scrapblog allows you to do so many neat scrapbooking techniques that previous to using this FREE website I could only dream about on my meager wages.

What's more is once I started using this website at work the quality of the library's flyers and booklists have definitely improved. Don't just take my word for it, check them out. Two of my colleagues who also use Scrapblog have generously allowed me to display their favorite publications on my blog so you can see what I mean. Also, the hyperlinks on each of our names takes you to our sc

Here is the booklist I made for a teen book discussion program for next month:

And here is Sara's flyer detailing the upcoming movie programs in the children's room:

Lastly, view Camille's flyer showing the teen programs for the next few months:

Word on the street has it I'm old

According to a 6th grade patron I am old. Why? Well...

"Once you hit 20 you're old. I mean, you're halfway to 40."

He went on to inform me that one should retire at 25 because then you're really old. Here I was thinking that I was just about to enter the grown-up work force, just to find out that I'm retiring in two years. Damn. I don't think I can pay off undergrad and grad school in that time...

Anyway...

I feel like I'm the only person in the kidlitosphere that is apathetic about the Youth Media Awards. Even my friend Sara who doesn't blog outside of once a year dedicated our daily email thread to them. Am I the Grinch that stole the Awards Ceremony? Granted, I did not fashion my aged dog and myself in spiffy outfits and take the correspondences into a red sack, all the while laughingly maniacally. This much is true, but I still am all bah-humbug! about this stuff.

When I was a kid Newberry books were something you had to read for school over and over again, and therefore sucked. Now that I'm a librarian I'm supposed to get giddy about it? I can still see that strained look when kids come into the library with their Newberry assignments, so I know this hasn't changed much in the past decade. I know there are kids out there that get excited about the award books, but from my personal experience they are younger and care about the Caldecott. I honestly tried to be proactive about them the summer before library school started and ... fail. The books I read were enjoyable but that nagging feeling that I was reading a Newberry clouded my brain. Prejudices die hard.

So, Kidlitters, I implore you to show me why I should care about this. Yeah, it's a bit of a demand and yeah, I'm aware 2 people read this but still... IMPLORE!

Note: What do I know? I'm not even a for-real librarian yet, what with that pesky graduation 4 months away. Also: I love Animorphs which should serve as several grains of salt in and of itself.

Apparently I'm into spontaneous booktalks in McDonalds.

When fumbling through my overlarge bag for my wallet, I pulled out a number of things--mainly books. As I was collecting them I muttered, "I guess it's obvious I'm a librarian since I have about 6 books in my bag."

This prompted my pubescent cashier to ask what I'm reading. I gave a mini-booktalk including air quotes around the words "boy book." He informed me he liked horror and I was like oh this isn't like that and felt around my hungry brain for the best way to say "coming of age story" without actually using such a cliche phrase. After I filled up my soda I informed him that word on the street tells me that the book involves a suicide, but I didn't reach it yet. To which the cashier informed me, "Oh, I like suicides!"

This is why I am meant to be a young adult librarian. Words that come out of their mouths are more golden than the arches blazing the parking lot of this annecdote's setting.

Nothing Youth Media Awards related at all

Except for this, but then again, it's only because it is Mo. He trumps my anti-award mood any day. Congrats, Mo! My best to Elephant and Piggie.

I know I've been a huge link dump slore, but I wish to get as much goodness to you all as I can. Forgive me? Aw thanks, you're too kind!

Super Punch Amazingness:

• The future is bleak and headed more towards Idiocracy* every day.
• New Pixar movie has a spiffy poster.
• Show me someone who doesn't like robots and I'll show you a liar.

Crafty type items:

• Barfing unicorn. Somehow, it looks even more magical than it sounds. I don't think I'll ever regret the day I added Craft: blog to my reader and this just about proves that point.
• Craftster blog link dump. I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't read my blog otherwise he'll see what horribly "original" idea of a Valentine's day present he is getting, complete with card.
• This is from the same link dump as the last bullet point, but the sheer ridiculousness of time and effort that went into these beads deserved its own tiny little dot on my blog. Absurd.

Other people review so I don't have to:

• All About Sleep by Elaine Scott (reviewed by Abby (the) Librarian)
• Is it cheating if you include a link to someone who links to other people's reviews when copping out of reviewing due to a computer shortage or true genius? Oh, true genius? You don't say! Please view Jen Robinson's review links that also made me want the books too!

Various kidlit tidbits and other johnsons:

• Some TinTin ish. (Thanks BWE!)
• PUPPY BOWL 2009!!
• School librarians making a lot of fuss to ensure my future job security. Thanks guys, you shouldn't have... (Thanks YALSA blog)
• Twilight/Buffy shirt I covet like no other. (Thanks interactivereader!)

*If you are unfamiliar with Idiocracy, let me first shame you and then suggest you add it to your Netflix queue yesterday. That is all.

Taking advantage of an empty child

...ren's room. However, "children's room" does not make for scandalous post titles so... meh. Here are a bunch of super fabulous links collected by yours truly. And if yours truly is synonymous with my blogger RSS reader, then we are done with misleading wordings for the day.

• Thank you YALSA for hitting the nail on the head. Just because books may be inappropriate for a large percentage of teens, it does not make them adult books. Check out this riveting blog post!
• Amazing lunchador paper doll! Thanks Super Punch!
• POLAROIDS ARE NOT EXTINCT! Thanks Craft: blog!
• Shelftalker shared this instructional video and I am forever grateful. Never again do I have to worry about being attacked by a piece of whittled wood when walking home from the library ever again (that sentence had an unnatural amount of w's...my apologies).
• I don't know if your library has a knitting club like ours does, but if so... this is sort of library related. Otherwise, just enjoy the link Craft: blog provided on how to make adorable cable-knit leg warmers.
  

And the BONAS JONAS to end all BONAS JONASes: The Obamas sure know how to rock. The little Obamas had a slumber party that puts mine to shame and then some because while we were looking at posters of the Jonas Brothers, Malia and Sasha were hanging out with them!! ... Let that sink in. Way to make the first night sleeping in the White House that much more awesome, Obamas. Thanks Best Week Ever!

Review: The Outsiders

I have to admit that I opened this book with some trepidation. No, not because of the violence, but because I am a little kid. It is an old book with yellowed pages and an ugly cover. I'm a bad librarian, what can I say? Despite this initial hesitation I was reluctant to put the book down after I got halfway through the first chapter. The issues the main character and his friends face are so drastically different from the problems that I ever have and most likely will ever encounter, yet Hinton's writing makes it come alive for me. I felt as if I was a greaser. I hated the Socs, but as Ponyboy and I came to find out together, they are human all the same.

It opens as a story about economic classes determining the way things are run in Ponyboy's city. The Socs have all the money and the best of everything and they let the Greasers know exactly what they think of them by jumping them. Often. The Greasers may not have the best money or vernacular, but they have heart and are expressive. For the most part the fights that occurr as a result of this classist society are miniscule and a part of everyday life. That is, until Ponyboy and his friends walk home two Soc girls that just so happen to be the girlfriends of some of the toughest Socs in town. Later that night, the very same Socs stumble upon Ponyboy and his buddy Johnny looking for a fight. Not only do they get a fight, but meek little Johnny knives one of the Socs and kills him. Ponyboy and Johnny go on the run and are about to start a new life when something unexpected happens. The church they were hiding out in blazes with a wild fire, with several small children trapped inside. With their big hearts in tow, Ponyboy and Johnny jump into the fire and bring the children out, who would have otherwise died. Juvenille delinquents turned heros, say the papers, but that doesn't make Ponyboy feel any better because his buddy Johnny caught the brunt of the rescue and is in critical condition. Meanwhile, things between the Socs and the Greasers are at an all-time low ever since Johnny murdered one of the Socs, and an ultimate showdown is on the way. Will Johnny make it out of the hospital alive? Who will come out on top of the big fight, Socs or Greasers? Is Ponyboy going to stay sweet and poetic or will he succumb to the hardships of his lifestyle and lose heart?

First line of the book:

"When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home."

BONAS JONAS: My FAVORITE aspect of this novel is the circular nature of it. Circle stories (the first and last paragraph are the same) are my absolute favorite and it definitely made this book that much better for me. I think I actually squealed with delight, but then again, I squeal and shake with delight like a guinea pig often. I am easily excitable. But still! Amazing!

Reasons library school shouldn't exist

Oh wait, there's only one:

• It is an institution that tries to outdo any rocket science and quantum physics program in collecting as many odd and socially awkward people together to meet and become friends.
  

See also: the Library Ladies Slumber Party we had last night. Just the fact that we find the need to call ourselves Library Ladies like we are in a teen drama show should indicate something in and of itself, but don't take my word for it. I will briefly review the highlights of the amazingness that was last night.

1. Danielle brought $20 worth of J-14, Bop, Tiger Beat and god knows what other glorious abominations to my house and we ripped out the posters and took quizzes letting us know which Jonas Brother is in love with us. Or something. There will be pictures in the future of the amazing RPattz and Kristen Stewart pictures I am now in the possession of once they go up on my wall. Don't you fret.
   
2. Apples to Apples is always a good time, but I noticed the single greatest thing about the game. While the puns in the noun descriptions are always a good time, Puff Daddy's blurb makes him my new automatic win card so remember that in case we ever play. It actually says, "'I'll be missing you' shot him to stardom." How does that even exist?!? [emphasis mine]
3. Speaking of Apples to Apples automatic win cards, Meghan imparted these wise words: "Helen Keller is the golden snitch of Apples to Apples." So true.
   
4. In other Apples to Apples happenings, we discovered that Cara=Blair Waldorf. Her adjectives are: mystical, timeless, wicked, glamorous, cold, luxurious, delicate, and sultry. I have yet to read Gossip Girls or watch it, but I am assured this is fact.
   
5. An event that is too glorious for words. You will have to wait until I post the pictures. Tingle with utmost anticipation because it is the single most ridiculous moment of my life.
   
6. Meghan shared a story that would ordinarily be heartbreaking and slightly adorable if not for the fact that it was had at 4 am. After Breaking Dawn was released, a woman went to the cemetery every day to read the book to her deceased teenage daughter because she was obsessed with Twilight but passed away before the release of the new book. We then had this inappropriate conversation:
   
   Sara:It's probably better that she died before that book came out.
   Me: [Meyer] could have stopped with Eclipse.
   Danielle: [The Twilight Saga] should never have existed.
   Me: How could you say such blasphemous words!? What would I write about on my blog?
   Lisa: What would Kristi(e)'s dog be named?
   
   The last bit from Lisa refers to the fact that I want to name my future female pug Renesmee. It is clearly the best name anyone could ever give their pet, if not their first born. In fact, if it wasn't for my dedication to my 2nd grade dream to name my daughter Claudia after the vice-prez of the BSC I might consider it (okay, false... I was just pulling your leg; however, the pug's appellation really is going to be Renesmee).
   
7. Twi-friggin'-light Madlibs. We completed two, but I will share the best one:
   
   "So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping he would, thought it seemed swimmingly. I couldn't picture him loading up to jizz with the rest of the pants from school; he didn't belong in the same world. But just hoping that he might gave me my first twinge of ejaculation I'd felt for the outing.
   
   "Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, bouncy, moist.
   
   "Down to your mom's house, to the grotto." I studied his face, trying to read it. His eyes seemed to narrow hauntingly.
   
   He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, fornicating chagriningly. "I really don't think I was invited."
   
   I sighed. "I just invited you."
   
   "Let's you and I not push poor Bonus Jonas any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His eyes dance; he was enjoying the idea more than he should.

Speaking of Bonus Jonas, it's time for one of those now that we reach the end of the sleep over.

BONUS JONAS: We obviously had to look up the jizz in my pants digital short from SNL after the Mad Libs, and the first result I got back was Harry Potter jizz in my pants. Um.... AMAZING?! Oh wait, and I just found this johnson just now: Twilight jizz in my pants. Oh biology scene...

Thanks dad

What kind of emails does your father send you? If your dad is like mine he finds it appropriate to send the following embodiment of hilarity: Of course it is complete with a disclaimer from the mother, but please feel free to ignore it because I am.

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington

Drive-by link dump

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

Link ambush!

Sorry for the gangsta stylings, but every time I go to blog, I get bombarded with, "Ms. I need more time!" "Ms. how do you find a google images?" "Ms. show me how to make a cootie catcher!" "Ms. How do I find things on google images?" Therefore, you will get overwhelmed with linkity link links. I mean, psht, don't these children know that my computer was attacked by zombies and the only time I have to give you these amazing links is when I am at work? Clearly the job comes first, so I will gladly stop blogging to give them the assistence they need (even if I have to show them the same thing 5 times before they actually get it), but still... YOU NEED TO SEE THESE LINKS!!!!!!

The 6 links up thar on the tippy top of the post are pretty self evident. As for the links that follow, they benefit from some blurbification.

I'm a 21st Century Reader, are you? Thanks, A Year of Reading!

Is it just me, or should someone turn the news into YA novels?

• Man steals live shark
• "U.S. Marshals tracked Marcus Schrenker, 38, to a north Florida campground late Tuesday night, peeling back the flap to his one-man tent to discover him in clouded consciousness with blood-soaked arms, muttering the word 'die.'" Um... excuse me? I thought only fiction writers were capable of this level of epicness.
  

Bib-Laura-graphy link dumps, so I don't have to. Thanks Laura! Though, I will point out my favorite article she mentioned, which is obvious since it is Twilight. Not only is it Twilight, but it involves cognitive pyschology!! I don't often (if ever) mention my love of this subject because Purple Polka isn't really the right forum, but Twilight+cognitive science=Heaven on the web.

The Book Chook offers some helpful hints on how to get those pesky, reluctant readers to enjoy reading. Thanks! Makes my job a whoooole lot easier here in Library Land. Let's get those parents' reading that information!!

Dr. Seuss can use 0nly 50 words to create a masterpiece, can you? Thanks Tales from an Open Book!

Um what? Note: the word Sexting is absurd. Thank you, YALSA Blog, for bringing it to my attention.

7th graders are my blog's BFF

"Ms., it's not fair that dwarf planets aren't considered real when dwarf humans are."

Epic. Truly epic, Mr. 7th grade patron. My blog thanks you for your hilarity.

Can my library do this please?

The Carleton Public Place Library publishes very amusing blog posts for a library. Take this one, for example. I was all ready to believe that a patron's neighbor really did almost get swallowed by her snake. Which, who sleeps with their snake in their bedrooms? I guess I should have known it was a joke. But still... great blogging skills!! Way to engage the library patronage with pertinent and enjoyable resources. 2 points!

Review: Th1rteen R3asons Why

A lengthy aside.

This book is many things. Moving. Disturbing. Unsettling. Occasionally funny in ways that shouldn't be. None of these descriptions touch upon what this book really is. I couldn't even put it all out here for you in a simple review. You just have to experience it.

The book opens on an obvious tragedy. The reader isn't made aware at first, but the tone and mood are ominous and on page 3 the narrator, a high school boy named Clay, admits that he wishes he could collapse. Tape recordings are mentioned and it is implied that the message of the tapes is the reason our narrator is an emotional mess. It isn't until the next chapter, which takes us back to the moment Clay first gets the tapes, that we begin our journey to find out why.

Again, I've already said you need to experience this book. I'm not going to reveal the content of the tapes here because it is the process of discovering Hannah Baker's story that makes this book worth reading. I will tell you the basics and nothing more. Hannah killed herself. No one knows why. No one, that is, until she sends a package with no return address to the first person on her list. Inside the package are the tapes I've told you about earlier. These tapes contain thirteen stories. Each story helps shed light on the true pain and hidden disturbance that Hannah experienced every day. Hannah's stories are exposed to both the reader and Clay at the same time, making his pain the reader's pain. This is a visceral account of how rumors and unkind boys can destroy an already fragile girl and the drastic measures she took to ensure that those problems never hurt her again.

My reaction to this book is multi-faceted and something I still can't articulate, even though I read it back in November. On the one hand, it alerts readers to the vicious cycle of rumors and exactly why labeling people based on what one hears is absurd. This definitely touched me on a personal level because my high school experience was very similar to Hannah (minus actually committing suicide, obviously). My penchant for tight clothes because they felt most comfortable and my slender, yet curvy figure attracted the wrong attention and it was years before I figured out why. Despite being prudish in high school, I was labeled all kinds of unappealing names I still don't wish to think about. This book is perfect for many high school girls for that reason. To know they are not alone. Their pain is real and valid, but at the same time, there has got to be a better way of dealing with it than the way Hannah did.

The other side of this is that it almost glorifies suicide. Yes, the reader is definitely left with Clay's pain more than Hannah's and most would be able to conclude that suicide is not even an option, let alone an answer. Most. My fear with this book is I know how I would have reacted in high school and it isn't pretty. For the reasons mentioned previously amonst many more, I was ridiculously depressed and might have taken away a different message than the one I'm offering to you today. I guess what I'm trying to say is, be careful about how you recommend this book and to whom.

First line of the book:

"Sir?" she repeats. "How soon do you want to get it there?"

A lengthy aside

Purple Polka is a lot of things, but something that it very rarely (if ever) does is go deep into my personal life. I like it that way. Life is serious and the internet isn't. The internet is a big, fluffy ball of silly absurdity and I would be doing it a disservice to do something like talk about my problems as if this were a Xanga. There are certain communities where that is okay and I did not decide to join them.

However, I'm going to reveal a snippet today. As I've stated before, I'm reviewing my syllabus for Materials for YA. One portion of the syllabus allows you to choose your own books revolving around a theme for a final project. While I should probably finish Learning Theory from last semester before I focus on my final for Spring 09, this is something that has to be addressed now. A week (or maybe two, everything from that time is muddled and confusing) before Christmas, my stepfather Jack took his own life. This is understandably troubling for numerous reasons I don't believe I have to go into. As a result, I decided to focus my final project* on books dealing with suicide, more specifically, the aftermath. The survivors.

I would rather read the books at the beginning of the semester, therefore, at a time when I need them. A time when the mere thought of suicide, even in distant contexts like the suicides from the Great Depression shown in fuzzy black and gray footage in a documentary, leads me to tears. That said, for the five reviews necessary for my final project, Purple Polka won't be an inane distraction that occasionally attempts to take itself seriously. I cannot say what I will do from one day to the next, but it is most likely I will first review the book and then reflect on what it means to me and perhaps other people in a similar situation. I also plan on beginning every review with a link back to this post, in attempt to explain the sudden serious tone.

Thank you for your time and for letting me get a little personal. :)



*Though, come to think of it, I haven't quite asked Jill if this is okay. Is it, Jill?

Temporary hiatus seems imminent

Last night I was browsing the interwebs and got very over-excited by the LibrariYAn's comments on Scott Westerfeld's book.  As a result, the casing of my new computer is lifting (don't ask).  I will have to bring this johnson in to the shop and get it fixed.  I am such a winner.

This makes me want to eat the entire package of bacon I have waiting for me

Um, can this please be a real TV show?  Please?!  I would cancel plans on a Friday night to watch this show, it is that amusing.

Watch and have your life changed.

It's official

I love delurking week.  It's pretty much my favorite thing ever.  Not only did I find out that Alicia has a blog, but ex-lurker Bib-Laura-graphy has linked to the funniest thing I read all night.  Laura got it from Librarilly Blonde, but she gets all the credit for my discovering the link that made my night.  Made. my. night.

Can we please discuss how this letter from Stephanie Meyer's husband is absurd to the max and needs to be read by all Twilight LULers immediately?  Thanks.  

BONUS JONAS:  Bib-Laura-graphy also linked to this Twilight johnson about food for a Twilight themed party.  Could be of use to some, especially if they're into insulting their guests by serving food in dog bowls.  You know, if you're into that.

Adorables

This video is very well done and tranquil.  A fabulous combination of craftsmanship and distraction from my never ending homework pile.  A+ video, A+.

Delurkification

Alright guys, word on the street is National Delurking week is going on right now.  If you read my blog, even if you're just reading it for the first time, give me a shout out and let me know I'm not typing my little heart out to no one.  Actually, I'm pretty convinced no one reads this besides Jill and Danielle, so surprise me with a comment.  If you're like me, you feel hokey just saying "Uh, so I read your blog... yeaaah."  Feel free to leave a random fact or a link to your favorite YouTube video or any other thing you think I might like.  Or hate.  I'm not too choosy.  So go on, click "post comment."  You know you want to... 

Thanks go out to MotherReader, Jen Robinson and Abby (the) Librarian for keeping me posted!

Stormbreaker Review

What better review to follow Twilight than the male equivalent?  If Twilight is every 14 year-old girl's dream come true, then Stormbreaker is every 14 year-old boy's fantasy.  I mean, what boy doesn't want to realize he has the makings of a spy?  Exactly.

Granted, the book starts off on a sour note.  Alex Rider is informed early in the morning that his uncle, his only familial relations and guardian, was killed in a car accident.  Not wearing his seatbelt they told him.  Throughout the funeral services Alex has a nagging feeling that people weren't telling him the truth about his uncle's death.  For one thing, hell would freeze over twice before his uncle would drive around without his seatbelt.  Secondly, all the men that swore they worked at the bank with his uncle rub him the wrong way.  And one of them brought a gun to the funeral.  Determined to get some answers, Alex seeks out the impound lot where his uncle's car was taken and once he sees the BMW he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt he was lied to.  Bullet holes riddle the driver's side and there is a rust-colored stain no one needs to tell him is blood.  He gets stuck in the car mere moments before the compactor is going to have it's way with the BMW.  After a nervous few seconds, his leg gets dislodged and he runs away... straight into the man with a gun from the funeral.  

Before he could go the same way as his uncle, Alex karate kicks the muscle man and jets (B-T-dubs... he is a black belt.  How fortunate).  The "bank," Royal & General, call Alex in to discuss his future as he is now their ward.   In true "don't push the red button" fashion, they point out which office is his uncle's but they tell him he can't go in.  Somehow this leads to his jumping out a window 15 stories up onto a flagpole just to get into the office... I don't get it but this means that he is resourceful enough to pass their test and he becomes a spy.  Or something.  He endures some boot camp and gets a tricked out Gameboy Kim Possible style and bada bing, bada boom he's ready for some espionage.   

He is posing as a contest winner named Felix who won the privilege of being the first to test out the fancy Stormbreaker, a computer with a round processor.  Whatever that means.  Anyway, the creator of the Stormbreaker is too good to be true.  Upon completing the Stormbreakers, he plans on donating hundreds to English schools amongst other Marty Sue qualities.  Despite this, he has a personal army and has been known to consort with a contract killer.  Is he a bad guy?  Well, I can't tell you that.  But I will tell you this, the entire time I read it I felt as if I was reading a script for a blockbuster action movie with a 14 year-old protagonist.  Now I know why....

First line of the book:

"When the doorbell rings at three in the morning, it's never good news"

Oh goodness

Um... for real?  Pimp my (toddler's) ride?  This exists?  Clearly... pictures don't lie.  I've provided my favorite, but they are all nutso and should be viewed.  

So excited I might have a heart attack

Hands down my favorite picture book is Wanted: The Great Cookie Thief.  It's an old school Sesame Street joint from the seventies that takes place in the old west.  The town has an immense problem in the form of the Great Cookie Thief.  He steals all the cookies so no one can have any and the townsfolk are understandably miffed.  A fellow with big, white, googly eyes and blue, shaggy fur wanders in and everyone is convinced that he is the elusive criminal.  Not one to jump to conclusions, the sheriff sends someone over to check the potential perp against the wanted poster to ensure they are accusing the right man.  After verifying several things, including his fur, eyes, bandana and hat they know he is for sure the criminal mastermind behind the missing cookies.  Once accused, Cookie Monster alters the wanted poster in an act of considerable skullduggery so that the criminal featured has a mustache, which he clearly doesn't.  The townsfolk apologize, only to find out that he is indeed the Great Cookie Thief when he showers them all with cookies after lifting his cap.  Oh that Cookie Monster.

I decided to finally review this literary classic because I found THIS VIDEO that nearly gave me a heart attack.  Apparently there is a video version of the book and a brainiac in the truest sense of the word decided to pair it with Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal, making my life.  Literally.  If I were to die this moment it would most likely be okay because my life is complete.  I'm sure my friends and family will be sad, so I hope I don't die, but still.. life=complete.

Twilight Review

As if I need to review this book. However, since I decided to review all the books for my Materials for Young Adults class, what better place to start than literary crack? You know it's horrible, but you just can't stop reading it. Anyway, it's a classic boy meets girl story.... on GHB.

Long story short (and I mean long story—it clocks in at a whopping 498 pages) girl makes the self-sacrificing decision to move in with her father she doesn't really know so her immature mother can galavant around the states with her baseball player boytoy. Girl is miserable and clumsy and ordinary and boring and clumsy and ordinary and thinks no boy can possibly love her because of how ordinary and clumsy she is, even though everything in her new school with a penis wants on her. Meanwhile, boy and his family are pompous and have nothing to do with the rest of the student body. Nothing, that is, until girl moves into town. Two-hundred pages later, boy and girl get together even though boy wants to eat her. Promptly get your minds out of the gutter because he wants to drink her blood, not do anything kinky. Please people, he is mormon. As it turns out, boy is not a boy but a vegetarian vampire (which is an absurd description, since they drink animal blood...Stephanie Meyer needs to look up what vegetarian means in her dictionary). After a ridiculous courting stage where boy insults girl, girl decides she can't live without him and then boy reveals he was only pushing her away for her own benefit since he wants to kill her. They start dating and he introduces her to the fam. Wholesome times ensue, as they all hang out and play baseball. But vampire baseball is not any ole baseball, because it requires a thunderstorm to conceal the boisterous ball crack that comes from having superhuman strength. Other vampires hear the noise and want to play. These vampires aren't like the boy's family because they suck human blood and they want girl's blood like woah. Clearly boy isn't having this and he ships her off to her hometown in Arizona because one of the vampires is a “tracker.” Stalker vampire isn't thwarted and manages to get her alone and starts to eat her, but is killed by boy's family. Boy has to suck her blood anyway because she is starting to turn into a vampire from the venom stalker vampire injects. They go to prom and everyone is happy, except girl because she hates proms because she is clumsy and ordinary and spend the whole time pouting because boy won't turn her into a vampire. The end.

And that is Twilight. See, we didn't need all 498 pages after all!

First line of the book:

“My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down.”

Thank you for validating my occupation

Never again shall I doubt my decision to become a librarian. Why is that, you ask? Oh, it could have something to do with the best reference question ever posed by a group of 8-11 year olds ever.

Miss, can you help us find a nursing home application?

You jest, but what you don't realize is this is after they showed me the following note (complete with incorrect spelling and grammar) they were writing to a boy that visits the library often:

Your 12 and you don't know how to jump a fence We Should put you in a nursing home where you are sourounded with old people.

Clearly they had something ridiculous in mind. Let me back-track a little more. A 12-year old patron tried jumping the fence near the library some time in December only to find that he was stuck. He struggled and wiggled but despite his best efforts his coat was stuck in the fence. This carried on for a quarter of an hour before an old man finally helped him off the fence. Clearly he was embarrassed and would never try something like this again, right? Oh, ye of little faith. He most certainly did try again this evening. While he didn't get stuck to the fence again, he did spend a good ten minutes trying to jump the fence. It didn't work. Again. So he eventually went around. So now he will have a nursing home application filled out for him with my boyfriend's name as his lawyer and Dr. DoLittle as his primary physician. I love being a children's librarian. I love it love it love it.

Apparently makeup is attractive

...on men. Oh wait, no it's not. Then please explain to me why they continue to use pictures from the same tired photo shoot where RPattz looks like he is wearing lipstick. They released the DVD cover recently and instead of providing a new image that fans can squeal and flail about, they decided to use the same picture where Kristen Stewart looks drugged and RPattz is wearing makeup. I wish I had thought to become a art director for a movie, since it clearly doesn't take much talent...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Associative genius!!!! (to quote one of the comments of the post)

I know this is a tad late, but since school is STILL not done for the semester (I know, right? It's practically February, Kristie...get on that already) my bloglines is fat and meaty with all kinds of goodies. I snuck a peak at what Fuse 8 had waiting for me and I found this Harry Potter/It's a Wonderful Life crossover that makes perfect sense.

In case you needed more reasons to love Liz Burns

"the Newbery [award] is our Angelina Jolie"

As much as I'm all about taking interesting quotes out of context just to make a funny, that would belittle her compelling argument. So please do yourselves a favor and follow the above link to read her views on the current discussion of diversity in children's literature, specifically relating to the Newbery.

On that note...

This quote from the last entry's BONUS JONAS Philip Pullman interview was so spot on that it deserved its own post.  

"Books should be at the heart of every place of learning, and every community should have a library where children are welcome."

::Philip Pullman::

True freaking story!

Inkheart Trailer

I SAW THE INKHEART TRAILER ON TV TODAY!!!  That makes it official--in case you didn't know.  Because when you see a trailer in the theater and get flippin' excited about it, that doesn't mean anything, let me tell you.  I saw the Inkheart trailer way back in 2007 before The Golden Compass and swallowed the lies that it would be released in 2008.  Well, now that a movie trailer has made its way to the silver screen, it better mean business.  Or else.

As for the trailer itself, does it seem like they read themselves into the book to you?  I have this nagging feeling that they do, just from the description given in the trailer.  Lame.  That isn't supposed to happen until Inkspell, silly heads.  Please hope I am wrong in this hypothesis because otherwise I will be incorrigibly angry for a very long time.  

BONUS JONAS:  I found this bad-boy cruising around for the official Golden Compas movie website.  I heart Philip Pullman immensely.  It's a fabulous interview and apparently he is making a new book in the His Dark Materials universe.  Where have I been?  Oh right, obsessed with the rubbish that is Twilight.  Oops.  As for the official Golden Compass movie website, it has sadly been taken down, which is rather depressing since it was beautifully designed and a wonderful time suck.  In its stead is this craptastic ad campaign.  Lame.