Goodness gracious great balls of dear god make it stop.

I seem to be complaining a bit too much about how boring library school is. But in all honesty, we're librarians! For crying out loud, way to live up to the stereotype! Things I would rather be doing instead of building number charts for Dewey numbers: oh, I don't know, anything? And to think this is the most fun I've had in cataloging all semester...

In other news, I have a quote for you on this lovely Pottertastic Tuesday:

"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"

Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?"

::Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows::King's Cross::(723)

Cowboys and Indians

What will I do without my Cataloging professor's cats playing Cowboys and Indians in the background of her riveting lectures once classes end in two weeks?

MASH it up.

What happens when you pay about a thousand dollars for a three hour class featuring a compulsory attendance policy that reiterates information almost entirely word for word from the textbook? Four games of MASH. If you are unaware of what MASH is, please check out this rudimentary skeleton of a game from the Middle School Survival Guide. Anyway, on with alternate life scenarios...

MASH result one: Meghan is going to end up married to a ridiculously awkward man from our program that shall remain nameless. They are going to live in a mansion with their demon spawn and hairy pet spider. She is going to continue her Harry Potter addiction in her free time, when she isn't busy with her full-time job of being a bum. Apparently, being a bum pays off well for a select few, because her salary is $100,000 per year!

MASH result two: Jake Gyllenhaal and I will be amorous in our Appalachian mansion with our crack baby and goldfish named Rascal. Why Jake Gyllenhaal decided to make a simple septic-tank pumper with a salary of $50,000 a year with a heavy addiction to booze is beyond me.

MASH result three: Meghan will grow up to fall madly in love with her mom. They move to Hogsmeade and live in a lovely little house. Hopefully, as the only all-magical community in all of England, Hogsmeade is liberal and tolerant of such controversial issues as homosexuality and blatant incest. Instead of adopting, Meghan and her mom purchase robots to act as offspring. Meghan earns the dough (all $69,000 a year) with her freelance dumpster diver career. As one would expect of a Hogsmeade resident, Meghan is endowed with certain magical powers. Her invisibility ability is all the rage at neighborhood block parties. Perhaps it is this talent that led to her affair with Mr. Rogers back in the day.

MASH result four: Peter Pettigrew, my lover, gave me genital warts. Fortunately, we live in a mansion so I can escape his presence in one of our many other rooms. Despite making $7,000,000 a year, I maintain a steady job as a chimney sweep. It's a relaxing way to spend my day, which is much more than I can say for the nights. The octuplets Peter impregnated me with during our honeymoon in Venice are a nightmare and a half. Sometimes, even the thrill of cleaning out a long-forgotten flu is not enough, and I must escape the only way I know how--by turning into a hawk. Thanks to my many years of dedicated magic education, I finally became an animagus to fly far far away from my traitorous husband.

Gotta love middle school Girls. Or something.

So this conversation happened on Friday, but again, no laptop cable means I cannot post as frequently or timely as I would like. R6GG stands for random sixth grade girl, because there was a group of four and I don't recall which said what. Not that I would provide names anyway, but just so you know it stands for more than one person.

R6GG: Miss, what does your shirt say?
Me: (Opens top layer to reveal a shirt that says I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">R6GG: For real, miss? You love nerds?
Me: Well, yeah. I'm a librarian, it goes with the job description.
R6GG: But miss, what about skater boys?
Me: Um, no. That was a failed experiment called every boyfriend I had in middle school.
R6GG: But nerds, miss? What about thugs?
Me: Yeah, no. My boyfriend is in law school.
R6GG: Oooooh, miss, I know what you like. You like them business men.
Me: I guess.
R6GG: So miss, when he dies you'll get all his money.
Me: (stunned pause) That's not why we're dating. He doesn't even have a job right now because of all his homework.
R6GG: (this is said at the same time that I said "because of all his homework") But miss, why are you with him if he's broke?
Me: (At this point, words have failed me. I just stare at them, completely flabbergasted)

Life sucks when you don't have the Internet

Here is a list of things I missed as a result of my laptop charger breaking:

• My sanity. Three hours of reference class is just plain torture without simplistic video games to divert my didn't-the-book-already-say-that-exact-same-thing-but-more-concisely frustration.
• JKR/WB v. RDR/SVA trial updates. Apparently the trial is over? I can't really find a conclusive set of facts about the outcome other than a partial settlement agreement. Perhaps it's out there but...
• I have lots of backed up homework to do.
• Daniel Radcliffe's made-for-TV movie, My Boy Jack aired this Sunday. Finding this out on Tuesday helps me a lot.

As promised, Pottertastic Tuesday, part two

The Leaky Cauldron has what one may deduce is a reasonably accurate (some words may be slightly altered, though none of significance according to their numerous disclaimers) transcript of JK Rowling's first appearance in court over the RDR Books trial. Her snark is hysterical:

[Rowling] said, of David Colbert’s Magical Worlds of Harry Potter, “I really like this book; they can put that on the blurb if they want.”

In hindsight, I suppose that might only be hysterical to one familiar with the fact that Rowling once gave the free online version of the Lexicon an award for an "A+ effort." Also, from here on out, I am going to use poor netiquette and refuse to link to the Lexicon. If you want to go there, by all means, do use Google.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay. We all know about the Harry Potter copyright lawsuit going on right now, at least you are if you are familiar with my blog. Rowling took the stand today and everyone is all a flutter reiterating what she had to say. The BBC followed the case, and reported the following sad news:

"The author said she is not sure if she now has 'the will or the heart' to write her own definitive encyclopaedia, the proceeds of which she had intended to donate to charity."

OMG--NOOO!!!!

Jo, you can't do that!!! I don't care what it takes, you hire more lawyers and hitmen or WHATEVER to snuff this cruddy Lexicon version into the ground like a dead leaf on the playground, but YOU DO IT. Please have the heart because we ARE ALL BEHIND YOU. Your fans support you, lady! If this court case somehow does end up in RDR's favor, we can organize a massive boycott if it means you will publish your last volume. It is the only thing that kept me out of the therapist's office after you ended Harry Potter was the promise of an encyclopedia with hidden bits of knowledge heretofore unknown. I mean, first you tease us with those rare fairy tales and now you might give up because some guy that made himself famous off your creativity? I don't know if I can go on. : (

Blogging Basics

If only I learned the truth before I started blogging...

Update

Man, library school is weird. It seems like there are weeks and weeks where I don't have work to do (or barely any) and then BLAMO! I collapse under an avalanche of work. Last week was like that, only it also had the advantage of being my first week at my new job. Therefore, I didn't exist as a person, let alone a person able to blog. But now I am back and here to tell you all about it.

The first day at my new PL job was interesting. I had to tell a bunch of kids a slew of things I never really imagined would come out of my mouth. Things like, "You can't choke him in here," or, "Seriously, you have to take the stick and put it outside." Children are interesting. Especially from 2:45-5:30 (granted, they stay at the library longer than 5:30, but I'm not there so I don't care). Every time I've worked in the children's room thus far (grand total: 2 times) I've had to kick out at least two kids. Sadly, they are of the same group of friends. If they come to the library everyday and act in a manner that gets them kicked out everyday, why do they come to the library? I just don't get it.

I have an inch thick binder of policy and procedure I'm supposed to read through at some point. Ha. Ha. Hahahaha. Oh man, that's a good one. I don't even read all my assignments that are due. I just don't have time. Actually, I would have time if I stopped reading things like The Princess Diaries, but that would involve actually wanting to stop reading all of my fun books. And between you and me, that just ain't happening. To rectify this, I'm going to skim the policies as I organize them in the binder. Darn policy.

I'm more of a Q person myself...

Stretching made it a little blurry, so you should probably view the original here. I was only trying to save you the hours of random strip viewing that engulfs my life...

Because it's more fun watching videos that writing a paper due in two hours...

Pure genius. Found at the Inner Librarian.

Meiosis

It's Wednesday and if you look at the previous post, you'll see that it's not a Pottertastic Tuesday entry. Gasp! I don't want to go ahead and blame my new job, but apparently I need a little bit of adjustment time. I'm so effin tired right now. I am sorry to have let you down, but there will be two next week. I promise.

Second bit of news: I've decided to create a new blog. It will be out and about on the town in a few days (once) this paper of mine is finished and I can quasi-relax. I noticed that there are two distinct topics going on here: children's literature/librarianship and words/writing. As a result, the latter is finding a new home and this blog will get back on course. Goodbye Sporadic Word of the Day, we're going to miss you. Or something. Also, any quotations not related to children's literature and librarianship will be moved as well. That is all.

Wipe-out!

I am beat. I was planning on detailing my first day at my new public library job but it kicked my butt. It probably doesn't help that I had to wake up uber early and then get back from class around ten PM after reliving the worst day of my life via storytime only to still have more homework. If that run-on sentence wasn't an indication of how swamped with grogginess I am right now, I don't know what is.

To conclude this whiny rant, I will either post tomorrow about my first two days or wait until after Friday to report my first week. One or the other, but probably the latter.

Amazing.

So, taken out of context, this comic is pure genius. Complete and utter genius. It's still pretty good once you slop context all over it, but sigh... I digress.

If you're a librarian, then you know that context is H-O-T HOT! Go on, ask Brenda Dervin, she'll tell you the same. And if context is your bag, then go here and then here. I'd highly recommend reading the third comic (seen above) first before getting the context though. The randomness of it all is so enjoyable.

What she said...

Here's what A Chair, A Fireplace & a Tea Cozy published recently about the icky legal battle between RDR Books and JK Rowling, because Liz B is far more eloquent than I...

And, since this seems like more of a cop-out than a genuine Pottertastic Tuesday, I shall share a quote from the book I'm currently reading that reminds me of Jo's wonderful tales.

"'Isn't it odd how much fatter a book gets when you've read it several times?' Mo had said when, on Meggie's last birthday, they were looking at her dear old books again. 'As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book has preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar.'"

::Inkspell::Farid::(47)