Thank you Internet, my Christmas present from you was fabulous!

Dear Internet,

It would have been enough for you to just give me this picture:

Little elven Alice? Rudolph Jacob? Taking a Christmas carol and placing it in hilarious context? It was too much to ask for. But the rest of the website upon which I found it? That was simply selfless of you! I can never repay you for such a gem. How ever would I have known that Santa might be a vampire? You're right, it IS kind of awesome.

Things to check out on the interwebz

• Do android librarians dream of electronic books? That I can't tell you, not having been an android at any point in my life, but I can assure you that the song with the same name is phenomz. Despite being 3256 years old in internet years, you should listen if you haven't heard it and especially listen to it again if you have because you know you love things smothered in awesome sauce (Laughing Librarian).
• Free handwriting fonts = Awesome teen posters (Craft).
• Non library related, but RPattz was in my dream last night (it was awkward, don't ask) so I figured I would share BWE's confession that Robert Pattinson is blue.
• Super Punch has outdone itself yet again. I fought the temptation (barely) to post the same image they used in a link round up because trust me, the Werewolf Nesting Transformation Dolls are gorgeous and must be viewed by everyone. EVERYONE!! Instead, I took one of the images they chose not to share created by deviantARTist spicysteweddemon and placed it below:

Someone's been working out

Reasons why I love being a YA librarian:

• In searching Google for things I need for summer reading, I stumbled upon a two page layout featuring Rob Pattinson's topless bod. Holler!

Seriously though, I always tell myself that I don't have a crush on this man and then he just does something gorgeous or says something side-splittingly hysterical and it comes back. There are worse crushes to have...
ETA: Just in case you think this lone picture is enough and you can do without checking out the layout, please note that it uses the highly hilarious abbreviation, "OME." We all know that anything featuring that label is ... special. If you live under a rock and don't know what OME means, I sadly cannot help you out as Urban Dictionary is made of fail right now. Hopefully it works for you when/if you need to travel there.

Crack? Cocaine? Nope, I'll take me some RPattz

So remember that time that Abby (the) librarian "tagged" me in her addictions meme post?  (by tagged I clearly mean we are both lazy and this is why I will do her survey.  She doesn't want to tag people and I don't want to generate something original during spring break)

Rules: Write up five things you're addicted to. 

1. Robert Pattinson.  It started off as an innocent crush--a faux-librarian getting pumped for the Twilight movie, projection and all that.  Then it moved on to watching interviews just to hear his beautiful British accent.  From there it became a full on love affair because he is hysterical and still vulnerable in a way that makes me want to stroke his hair.  People give him shit for his "poor hygiene" and awkward behavior, but I don't see how that does anything but add to his character.  Perhaps this is because I find showering only twice a week to be a common occurrence and I have taken to not leaving my house ever because of crippling social anxiety, but whatevs.  He's a dreamboat and I loves him! 

2.  Craft.  While I won't shell out the dough for their magazine, they provide me with gem after gem after gem of crafting goodies that it doesn't matter.

3.  K. A. Applegate.  We know how much I loves me some Animorphs, as people have shut doors in my face to get me to shut up about it, but I freaking love her in general.  She is my favorite author because of how well she appeals to the teen market (i.e., me... despite not actually being a teen).  I am currently finishing a reread of her Everworld series and will move on to read an independent book that she did before beginning Remnants, the series she wrote after Everworld.  LOVES!

4.  Harry freakin' Potter.  Yeah, he's slipping down the list, but that doesn't mean anything.  These books have become so important to me that they are like religious texts in my absurd life.  I think in Potterisms and quote it subtly in my daily life.  I banned myself from reading the books until July 21, 209 because I didn't want to overkill it.  

5.  Scrapblog.  'Nuff said.

BONAS JONAS:  SNL digital shorts would have to be my numba 6.  And apparently number 7 is speaking with incorrect grammar, despite being a grammarian.

Reasons library school shouldn't exist

Oh wait, there's only one:

• It is an institution that tries to outdo any rocket science and quantum physics program in collecting as many odd and socially awkward people together to meet and become friends.
  

See also: the Library Ladies Slumber Party we had last night. Just the fact that we find the need to call ourselves Library Ladies like we are in a teen drama show should indicate something in and of itself, but don't take my word for it. I will briefly review the highlights of the amazingness that was last night.

1. Danielle brought $20 worth of J-14, Bop, Tiger Beat and god knows what other glorious abominations to my house and we ripped out the posters and took quizzes letting us know which Jonas Brother is in love with us. Or something. There will be pictures in the future of the amazing RPattz and Kristen Stewart pictures I am now in the possession of once they go up on my wall. Don't you fret.
   
2. Apples to Apples is always a good time, but I noticed the single greatest thing about the game. While the puns in the noun descriptions are always a good time, Puff Daddy's blurb makes him my new automatic win card so remember that in case we ever play. It actually says, "'I'll be missing you' shot him to stardom." How does that even exist?!? [emphasis mine]
3. Speaking of Apples to Apples automatic win cards, Meghan imparted these wise words: "Helen Keller is the golden snitch of Apples to Apples." So true.
   
4. In other Apples to Apples happenings, we discovered that Cara=Blair Waldorf. Her adjectives are: mystical, timeless, wicked, glamorous, cold, luxurious, delicate, and sultry. I have yet to read Gossip Girls or watch it, but I am assured this is fact.
   
5. An event that is too glorious for words. You will have to wait until I post the pictures. Tingle with utmost anticipation because it is the single most ridiculous moment of my life.
   
6. Meghan shared a story that would ordinarily be heartbreaking and slightly adorable if not for the fact that it was had at 4 am. After Breaking Dawn was released, a woman went to the cemetery every day to read the book to her deceased teenage daughter because she was obsessed with Twilight but passed away before the release of the new book. We then had this inappropriate conversation:
   
   Sara:It's probably better that she died before that book came out.
   Me: [Meyer] could have stopped with Eclipse.
   Danielle: [The Twilight Saga] should never have existed.
   Me: How could you say such blasphemous words!? What would I write about on my blog?
   Lisa: What would Kristi(e)'s dog be named?
   
   The last bit from Lisa refers to the fact that I want to name my future female pug Renesmee. It is clearly the best name anyone could ever give their pet, if not their first born. In fact, if it wasn't for my dedication to my 2nd grade dream to name my daughter Claudia after the vice-prez of the BSC I might consider it (okay, false... I was just pulling your leg; however, the pug's appellation really is going to be Renesmee).
   
7. Twi-friggin'-light Madlibs. We completed two, but I will share the best one:
   
   "So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping he would, thought it seemed swimmingly. I couldn't picture him loading up to jizz with the rest of the pants from school; he didn't belong in the same world. But just hoping that he might gave me my first twinge of ejaculation I'd felt for the outing.
   
   "Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, bouncy, moist.
   
   "Down to your mom's house, to the grotto." I studied his face, trying to read it. His eyes seemed to narrow hauntingly.
   
   He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, fornicating chagriningly. "I really don't think I was invited."
   
   I sighed. "I just invited you."
   
   "Let's you and I not push poor Bonus Jonas any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His eyes dance; he was enjoying the idea more than he should.

Speaking of Bonus Jonas, it's time for one of those now that we reach the end of the sleep over.

BONUS JONAS: We obviously had to look up the jizz in my pants digital short from SNL after the Mad Libs, and the first result I got back was Harry Potter jizz in my pants. Um.... AMAZING?! Oh wait, and I just found this johnson just now: Twilight jizz in my pants. Oh biology scene...

Apparently makeup is attractive

...on men. Oh wait, no it's not. Then please explain to me why they continue to use pictures from the same tired photo shoot where RPattz looks like he is wearing lipstick. They released the DVD cover recently and instead of providing a new image that fans can squeal and flail about, they decided to use the same picture where Kristen Stewart looks drugged and RPattz is wearing makeup. I wish I had thought to become a art director for a movie, since it clearly doesn't take much talent...

The only possible explanation for the clearcutting of RPattz's head...

Classic RPattz

I've seen this video a while ago in which Robert Pattinson says,

"I thought they were just giving it to me... like a tribute. A sacrifice,"

in regards to being handed a baby for a photo opt.

However, I've never actually seen the picture he speaks of...until now!! A recent Twilight Google image search has ripened to yield this beauteous photograph of RPattz pretending to eat a baby.

::slow clap::

EDIT: Obviously Viacom took the above video off YouTube, so please view it here on the MTV video archive.

Jealous!

Yes, even with his greasy-I-don't-believe-in-lathering-once-let-alone-repeating hair (which, who actually repeats the lathering process? Have I been showering incompetently my whole life since I only dab that crap in there once?). I would pay all kinds of money for that type of impalement. All. Kinds.

Oh snap and a half

I may not have time to read and review books because of the growing mountain that is my homework and back homework, but damn, I have time to watch this. So, that means you have time to watch this video.

Cedric v. Edward

My ardent love of Robert Pattinson seems to have come out of nowhere, considering the fact that he was right in my face in Goblet of Fire.  Had I simply overlooked him?  Cast aside by my Harry Potter devotion?  No.  I find him to be cute in that role, always have, but he is nowhere near as sexy as he is in Twilight or in real life.  How do I know for certain?  I conducted a scientific study last night, which detailed watching Goblet of Fire.  Watching is actually a loose term here, because it was more fast forwarding until Robert Pattinson was on screen.... 

What are your thoughts?  Cedric v. Edward? I've provided two pictures of each role, to aid selection.

Team Cedric:

Team Edward