Happy New Year!

I never thought of it that way...

This yuletide fanfic depicts Rachel of the Animorphs as transgendered. While reading it in the universe of the short fan piece it made a sense of sorts, but I don't think that it really makes cohesive sense to the storyline with the other glimpses we get into Rachel's life. Then it poses the question that because Rachel is the epitomie of a fierce, warrior female (with her despised nickname being Xena) does it therefore make her masculine? Is she destined to be a male in her next lifetime because of her personality or does that mean she is just a strong girl?

Note: Fanfic piece has spoilers about the ending of the series. Do not read if you wish to read the Animorphs series.

Uh-oh.

Apparently I'm trying to be a witch-doctor. 

The only possible explanation for the clearcutting of RPattz's head...

Twilight Madlibs

I just got back from my friend Danielle's awesome Godfather Pastafest which was filled to the brim with LULz of all kinds, but mostly Twilight (i.e., the best kind).  There was an exchange of gifts that was pretty much amazing and could have happened at a ten year old's birthday party (see also: Lisa's HSM flashlight that appears to be a microphone, the HSM handsanitizer and bath set Danielle got, my Nerf gun...).  I gave Meghan an Apprentice Mad Libs book which was clearly ridiculous.  We took the hilarity up a level by supplementing only Twilight related words for the blanks (no worries, the transcripts will be provided in the next week).  This led to the obvious discussion that Twilight needs a madlib with 23940247 adjective slots.  Surprisingly I did not actually add additional spaces for adjectives.  What you see was actually deemed worthy to comprise one page's worth of adjectives according to Meyer's publisher.

Without further ado, I give you the Twilight madlib:

Directions:  Take out a sheet of paper and write your answers to each number.  Go to the comments section and read the quoted text from the Twilight Saga, supplementing your words for the numbered spaces.  Enjoy.  If you're feeling up to it, please supply your word choices in the comments section! (I made it slightly lengthy for full ridiculousness, my apologies)

1. adjective 
2. color 
3. generic noun matching previous color
4. person in room (possessive)
5. adjective 
6. adjective 
7. adjective 
8. verb ending in -ing. 
9. a vaguely familiar but different verb ending in -ing.
10. adjective 
11. adjective 
12. adjective
13. noun, 
14. adjective
15. noun
16. adjective 
17. obscure simile using "like"
18. noun
19. adjective
20. same noun as last time 
21. switch it up with a new noun that is similar to the repeated noun 
22. adjective 
23. oh snap, kick it back to that tired noun 
24. antithesis of said tired ass noun 
25. new noun
26. apparently there are a lot of nouns in this sentence,
27. onemonepia, 
28. repeat onemonepia, 
29. repeat  onemonepia yet again
30. adjective 
31. noun that will be repeated
32.  number 
33. remember that noun?  use it again...
34. significantly larger number
35. and again but plural this time
36. adjective 
37. significantly larger number (reprise) 
38. last adjective used goes here as well
39. new noun
40. verb 
41. adjective
42. adjective 
43. adjective 
44. obscure name that sounds like word vomit

BONUS JONAS:  Since the internet is as ubiquitous as it is ridiculous, someone already created Twilight Madlibs.  Check them out to satisfy your every Twilight LUL or in the case you found my large amount of required words to be obnoxious.  

A Grimm assignment

My final project for the personal hell that is Learning Theory, Media and the Curriculum is surprisingly not painful (or as painless as a giant homework assignment can really be). Since I pretend actual school librarians read this blog, I'm going to briefly describe it in case anyone's interested in using it. Before that, I'm going to post some EXCITING news. The next Sisters Grimm book, The Everafter War is set to come out in May of 2009!!!! Look to the left to get a sneak peak at the cover.

In short, my unit consists of fifth graders reading one of my favoritest books ever, The Sisters Grimm: Fairytale Detectives by Micheal Buckley. After having book discussions with their primary teacher (or reading teacher if the school is into that), students come to the school library to research some of the fairytale characters featured in Buckley's work to compare and contrast their representations in his work and their more traditional roles. They will also be encouraged to check out some nontraditional depictions too (such as Jon Scieszka's The True Story of the Three Little Pigs). The characters selected for the character study are: the Big Bad Wolf, the Three Little Pigs, Prince Charming, Jack (of beanstalk fame), and the Giant (also of beanstalk fame). The findings will go on a graphic organizer created for the unit and make a poster out of them after all the data is collected. I'm stuck on the work computer, so I can't publish the organizer as of yet. Look for the edit if you're interested.

The last portion of the unit also takes place in the library. Students are reminded of basic story elements like plot, theme, setting, blah blah blah. Then they are asked to write up short stories of their own (1-2 pages typed) that include two fictional characters from different works. They may include more, but one character must be a protagonist and the other has to be an antagonist from another work than the first character. So no Harry Potter and Voldemort mashups. The premise of the stories revolves around the students suddenly finding out these fictional characters are more than literary figures, they exist in real life. Lastly, the students booktalk their short stories to one another in the library.

Interested in using the Sisters Grimm in a lesson plan but think my idea stinks? No matter, you can always check out the resources provided by the publishing company on the official site!

Mo!

Mo Willems is the love of my picture book reading life. I'm very sad that I will have to shuffle his books out of my storytime lineup, since there are only so many times children can have an entire half hour dedicated to Mo's stories. To make up for such depressing realities, I share my top two favorite blog posts he made in the past two months.

1. All of the fanmail is always so adorable, but I have to say the Don't let the pigeon be president section is highly amusing, especially considering the politico cameo. Plus, hearts to the post title!!
2. Ever wonder what to do with an aligator? Now I know.

A last little nugget is ReadKiddoRead.com, which Willems links to on his blog. I have yet to look through it, but I plan on spending the rest of my non-working at work time reading through it and thought you might want to do it with me! It gets awfully lonely out there...

Why I became a librarian

No, this isn't a blog post about my final term project for multimedia (though it sounds like it, no?). I am that bored that Googling "library meme" seems like a great idea. To answer the question, I decided to become a librarian on the NJTransit train going to New York on January 31, 2006. That's right, I know the exact date. Be jealous. The Targum (i.e., the atrocity that passes itself off as a school newspaper) had followed me over and over again. Each time, I spurned the advances of the silly little paper, only to have my seat littered with pages. I grabbed it reluctantly and read to pass the time. This is where I first heard the myth that people in library science are actually retiring, making it so that there will be no librarians in the future. Let me just point out this is a bold faced lie. Despite the lies, library science seemed like it made more and more sense and I stopped changing my major every five seconds. The end.

Now for the second half of the meme: Surveytime

• Best library school faculty member when I was getting my degree: Stew Mohr and his adorable little bowties and vests
  
• Favorite class: Storytelling (ahem... Traditions of Oral Narration... sorry)
  
• Best bosses: I've really only had two library bosses. Considering Kayo would disappear half the time she was supposed to be my backup and not tell me until I found out during a reference interview.... that would most likely tip the vote to Dr. Belvin's favor in and of itself.
  
• Favorite library: Belle's imaginearey library in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast
  
• Most unexpected career move: Spending more money to go to more school
  
• Best career move to date: Going to library school? Helps with the whole being a librarian thing.
  
• Favorite piece of advice to others: Plan out your conference attendence by figuring out in advance which sessions and backup sessions you want to go to. Saves you from lots of boredom.
  
• Best piece of advice received: You can't cut carrots with a gun. Not library related, but still the best piece of advice out there.
  

Please don't fall asleep at the desk

That's just a little something I've been chanting in my head over here at the mostly abandoned children's reference desk to keep my head from making contact with the wood in front of it. Someone had this up as a neat little game on their facebook status a month or so ago, so I'm going to steal it here and have a good ole blog meme day. This will probably be the first of many attempts to keep me lucid.

Grab the closest book and open it to page 52. Type in the fifth sentence on that page exactly as it appears in the book.

"In the movie theaters of the larger cities, movies from Mexico and Hollywood are shown."

::Honduras...in Pictures::Visual Geography Series::

So you go out and do the same. Post it on your blog or in the comments section!

EDIT:: Apparently it is page 56. In that case:

"Two or three of the sprouts are allowed to bear."

This just in!

Danielle sent this glorious video in an email this afternoon.  Ah-mazing. 

Note: embed video features have been hating me massively lately, so here's the link to Twilight High School Musical.  It is very disturbing and if you hate musicals (like myself) but love Twilight, you might still enjoy it like I did.  But only once and never, ever again.

Dispute resolution

observe, v. 9. trans.

    a. To take notice of, be conscious of; to notice, perceive, see. Freq. with that-clause as object. Also intr.

1560 J. DAUS tr. J. Sleidane Commentaries f. cclxxxv, The Sunne loked pale and dimme,..And this was not obserued in Germany only, but also in Fraunce & England. 1605 BACON Of Aduancem. Learning II. sig. Ll1, If men will intend to obserue, they shall finde much worthy to obserue. 1634 T. HERBERT Relation Trav. 223 King Henry..obseruing simplicitie in the Messingers deliuery. 1736 BP. J. BUTLER Analogy of Relig. I. ii. 32 This every one observes to be the general Course of things. 1783 H. BLAIR Lect. Rhetoric I. x. 200 We remark, in the way of attention, in order to remember; we observe, in the way of examination, in order to judge. 1793 W. COWPER Let. 6 Sept. (1984) IV. 390 Hearing the Hall clock, I observed a great difference between that and ours. 1805 M. LEWIS Jrnl.20 Aug. in Jrnls. Lewis & Clark Exped. (1988) V. 126, I have also observed some robes among them of beaver, moonax, and small wolves. a1855 J. EAGLESSketcher (1856) viii. 200, I am not, observe, here saying one is preferable to another. 1881 T. HARDY Laodicean I. II. i. 254 At last he observed the white waistcoat of the man he sought. 1940 H. G. WELLS Babes in Darkling Wood I. ii. 51 He seemed to be seeing something that had always been under his eyes but which he had never clearly observed before. 1987 T. WOLFE Bonfire of Vanities (1988) v. 125 You will also observe that I do not have eyes in the back of my head.

Jim and I are having a bit of a disagreement over what the above definition of "observe" literally means.  I think that the choice of the word "conscious" implies having cognizance of the event and therefore would also suggest that one has memory of it taking place.  Jim countered that the use of the word "perceive" intimates looking in the direction of the event taking place, but not necessarily remembering it.  What do you think?

How does one calculate an optional e?

By figuring out the difference in your Dewey numbers, that's how!  Thanks to Renee of the inner librarian for bringing this johnson to my attention.  

Here is with an E:

Kristie's Dewey Decimal Section:
103 Dictionaries & encyclopedias
Kristie = 1899095 = 189+909+5 = 1103

Class:
100 Philosophy & Psychology

Contains:
Books on metaphysics, logic, ethics and philosophy.

What it says about you:
You're a careful thinker, but your life can be complicated and hard for others to understand at times. You try to explain things and strive to express yourself.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

And here it is without: 

Kristi's Dewey Decimal Section:
098 Prohibited works, forgeries & hoaxes
Kristi = 189909 = 189+909 = 1098

Class:
000 Computer Science, Information & General Works

Contains:
Encyclopedias, magazines, journals and books with quotations.

What it says about you:
You are very informative and up to date. You're working on living in the here and now, not the past. You go through a lot of changes. When you make a decision you can be very sure of yourself, maybe even stubborn, but your friends appreciate your honesty and resolve.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Please note: I find both of these to be extremely accurate.  This further suggests that my E is actually optional.  Score!  

Also note:  The incorrect spelling of my name (Kristi) is the Dewey number for forgeries & hoaxes.  Figure that.

Book Meme

I saw this over on Fuse 8 many days ago, but schoolwork does not often let me have posts that require more thought than, Hey guys, look at this Rpattz video...  Now that I've put being a functioning human being on a temporary hiatus, I figured I'd get to it.

Put yourself in the role of literary matchmaker: What two characters, from two different books, would you pair with one another? 

Shelf Talker named this meme post "Harry Hearts Whom?" and I'm going to have to agree with her.  Which character is it that Harry loves?  Obviously there is Ginny, but this question allows the whole literary schiorgasboard for drama of Rita Skeeter proportions!  

If I were to think of Harry's best interests and the type of girl he could playfully grow and develop his power of being super awesome with, I would probably have to suggest Meggie from Inkheart.  I wonder if her ability to read things into being could be transferred onto spell-casting. They might have to be narrated spells since the words themselves are what calls things into being and not magical energy, like Harry.  Or, would her inner magic lend itself to Harry's type of magic once it is known?

But if I were to create a Rita Skeeter-esque match for him I would suggest Sabrina Grimm from The Sisters Grimm.  Sabrina would throw a fit and make sure everyone would know she wasn't actually dating Potter.  Obviously for both her and Meggie to work, this has to be Harry circa Philosopher's Stone to Prisoner of Azkaban.  Deathly Hallows Harry is just too old.  Then again, that would provide more speculative fodder for Skeeter's rumormongering.  ::Gasp!:: An 11 year old dating a 17 year old!! Oh my!

Classic RPattz

I've seen this video a while ago in which Robert Pattinson says,

"I thought they were just giving it to me... like a tribute. A sacrifice,"

in regards to being handed a baby for a photo opt.

However, I've never actually seen the picture he speaks of...until now!! A recent Twilight Google image search has ripened to yield this beauteous photograph of RPattz pretending to eat a baby.

::slow clap::

EDIT: Obviously Viacom took the above video off YouTube, so please view it here on the MTV video archive.

Jealous!

Yes, even with his greasy-I-don't-believe-in-lathering-once-let-alone-repeating hair (which, who actually repeats the lathering process? Have I been showering incompetently my whole life since I only dab that crap in there once?). I would pay all kinds of money for that type of impalement. All. Kinds.

Yo

As promised, I am back now that I finished reading the Animorphs series.  Well, technically I still have the Ellimist Chronicles... but that isn't part of the series proper and therefore doesn't count.  

All I have to say is what. the. hell!  As you are aware of the weekly publication in days past of Pottertastic Tidbits I am a diehard Potter fan.  That should alert you to how monumental it is that I think I cried more at the ending of the Animorphs series than I did for Potter.  True story.  Both children's books series use a war as the focal point and feature substantial losses on both sides.  However, Harry Potter ends with the final statement, "All was well," and even though there were more casualties than in Animorphs, it still ties together nicely in a little bow named King's Cross train station.  Animorphs, on the other hand, ends on a bitter note portraying the aftermath of the war and it's impact on all of the characters.  All but one are left miserable, and the one that isn't miserable is pretty much the reason the others are depressed.  I was initially upset by this ending, but this bitch slap from K.A. Applegate has led me to finally cope and accept the ending of this series (Please note: if you actually care about Animorphs spoilers, don't go to the Applegate letter).  

Yet again, I would like to state that I refuse to believe that fictional characters are not real.  I don't know when (or if) I can recover from my favorite Animorph dying, but I will find a way.  I somehow managed to survive Sirius Black going deadside, so I guess I can handle this.  Right?