Amanda Palmer signed your mom's toilet last night

To: the world
From: Kristi(e)
Date: 11/14/09
Re: Your Jealousy

I'm aware of the fact that not everyone could be lucky enough to have been in attendance of one of the most awesome performances ever that it was as if you (performances, mind you--not simply "one of the best concerts" but the broader act of staging an entertaining presentation of any sort) but there is no need to shout at me and send Batman up and down my street to honk all day. You and your jealousy can simmer down now.

What's that? You're also upset that I got not only Amanda Palmer's autograph, but Neil Gaiman's? Tough noogies. The exquisite Ms. Sara of Librarian Boredom was in attendance and received autographs as well so go bother her.

Fine, I will show you a photographic representation of the library catalog card for Blacks in the Military: Essential Documents signed by Mr. Gaiman to prove to you that ridiculous happening happened. Yes I'm sad the catalog card was too small for both Amanda and Neil to sign on the same side, no need to rub it in.

... Are you done yet? Fine I will rub it in YOUR face that I had a fantastic time last night. In fact, I will pontificate upon it in a bulleted list in no particular order (because how else will you knew precisely how much fun was really had?):

• Amanda Fucking Palmer told me that I was a good librarian for wearing my glasses to her show. 8)
  
• I have a new favorite song thanks to a random twitter user that may or may not have been at the concert. Amanda may end up telling you that it was not her best performance of the song, but don't listen to her world. I think her charm and humor made her rendition of Pirate Jenny the best I've heard so far (and I've listened to about 4 different versions today [including Bea Arthur's so let's just be real here for a second]). Just shy of 4 minutes of this youtube video you can see the Dresdon Dolls performing Pirate Jenny. DO IT!!!
  
• Amanda read a short story from Who Killed Amanda Palmer and was quite stupendous at storytelling.
  
• Sara's question was read during Ask Amanda! What were the odds?!
  
• Amanda had two artists create fabulous works of art during the duration of the concert that were then auctioned off. There were all kinds of unexpected surprises!
  
• Pretty much every single space in the venue allowed you to have full view of the stage. WIN!
• Nervous Cabaret was a fantastic surprise. Most indubitably for how amazing they were, but most notably for the fabulous facial hair.
• Amanda Fucking Palmer covered the Ting Tings That's Not My Name and made it a jolly affair. That's right, I said it.
  
• Just when I gave up all hope of hearing Coin Operated Boy everyone on stage rallied for a mind blowing performance to close the show!

I think I've rambled enough now. Long story short, you're silly for not going to an Amanda Palmer show. Fix that yesterday.