More reasons why seventh graders are the funniest people ever

Different seventh grader, same library:

"I used poison ivy as an excuse to scratch my butt. Even after it went away, I kept scratching. I would say it was because of the poison ivy, but people would tell me they knew it was long gone.

Why is this ever good information to share with the public? Especially your local librarian? Oh, that's right. Because entertaining gems like this make my life. Thank you middle schoolers for being a constant source of entertainment.