I just got back from my friend Danielle's awesome Godfather Pastafest which was filled to the brim with LULz of all kinds, but mostly Twilight (i.e., the best kind). There was an exchange of gifts that was pretty much amazing and could have happened at a ten year old's birthday party (see also: Lisa's HSM flashlight that appears to be a microphone, the HSM handsanitizer and bath set Danielle got, my Nerf gun...). I gave Meghan an Apprentice Mad Libs book which was clearly ridiculous. We took the hilarity up a level by supplementing only Twilight related words for the blanks (no worries, the transcripts will be provided in the next week). This led to the obvious discussion that Twilight needs a madlib with 23940247 adjective slots. Surprisingly I did not actually add additional spaces for adjectives. What you see was actually deemed worthy to comprise one page's worth of adjectives according to Meyer's publisher.
Without further ado, I give you the Twilight madlib:
Directions: Take out a sheet of paper and write your answers to each number. Go to the comments section and read the quoted text from the Twilight Saga, supplementing your words for the numbered spaces. Enjoy. If you're feeling up to it, please supply your word choices in the comments section! (I made it slightly lengthy for full ridiculousness, my apologies)
- adjective
- color
- generic noun matching previous color
- person in room (possessive)
- adjective
- adjective
- adjective
- verb ending in -ing.
- a vaguely familiar but different verb ending in -ing.
- adjective
- adjective
- adjective
- noun,
- adjective
- noun
- adjective
- obscure simile using "like"
- noun
- adjective
- same noun as last time
- switch it up with a new noun that is similar to the repeated noun
- adjective
- oh snap, kick it back to that tired noun
- antithesis of said tired ass noun
- new noun
- apparently there are a lot of nouns in this sentence,
- onemonepia,
- repeat onemonepia,
- repeat onemonepia yet again
- adjective
- noun that will be repeated
- number
- remember that noun? use it again...
- significantly larger number
- and again but plural this time
- adjective
- significantly larger number (reprise)
- last adjective used goes here as well
- new noun
- verb
- adjective
- adjective
- adjective
- obscure name that sounds like word vomit
BONUS JONAS: Since the internet is as ubiquitous as it is ridiculous, someone already created Twilight Madlibs. Check them out to satisfy your every Twilight LUL or in the case you found my large amount of required words to be obnoxious.
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4 comments:
This portion comes from Breaking Dawn, hardcover pages 359-360.
(1) (2) eyes, the color of (3)--the exact same color that (4) had been.
My (5) jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, (6) than before, but it was a (7) kind of heat--not a (8).
It was a (9).
Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the (10) (11) face of the (12)-(13), (14)-(15) baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in (16) cuts, like clipping the strings to a (17). Everything that made me who I was--my (18) for the (19) girl upstairs, my (20) for my father, my (21) to my (22) pack, the (23) for my other brothers, my (24) for my enemies, my (25), my (26), my self--disconnected from me in that second—(27), (28), (29)--and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A (30) (31) held me where I was.
Not (32) (33), but a (34). Not (35), but (36) cables. A (37) (38) cables all tying me to one thing--to the very center of the (39).
I could (40) that now--how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was (41). The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.
It was the (42) girl in the (43) vampire's arms that held me here now.
(44).
1. BONUS JONAS!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
2. Green apple eyes, the color of Weeze's--the exact same color that furry had been.
My little jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, sparklier than before, but it was a singing kind of heat--not a prancing.
It was a gross.
Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the oversized slimy face of the gerbil-ancient, robot-spotted baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in crazy like a fox cuts, like clipping the strings to a dog food. Everything that made me who I was--my sharp for the dog food girl upstairs, my kibble for my father, my creepy to my dog food pack, the steak for my other brothers, my rooster for my enemies, my convertible, my cock-a-doodle-doo, my self--disconnected from me in that second—cock-a-doodle-doo, cock-a-doodle-doo, obese--and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A starfish 31 held me where I was.
Not starfish 8 billion, but a 31. Not drunk, but 8 billion cables. A drunk rape horn cables all tying me to one thing--to the very center of the hop.
I could sweaty that now--how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was pregnant. The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.
It was the multi-colored girl in the Bernice vampire's arms that held me here now.
(44).
"I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was pregnant. "
That's deep.
Shiny silver eyes, the color of car--the exact same color that Sherry had been.
My black jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, big than before, but it was a pretty kind of heat--not a walking.
It was a running.
Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the blue purple face of the short-jeep, tall-mersadies baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in red cuts, like clipping the strings to a like. Everything that made me who I was--my superman for the fast girl upstairs, my superman for my father, my batman to my slow pack, the superman for my other brothers, my superman for my enemies, my house, my yard, my self--disconnected from me in that second—onemonepia, onemonepia, onemonepia--and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A glittery Edward Cullen held me where I was.
Not 17 Edward Cullen, but a 109. Not 109's, but old cables. A 109 old cables all tying me to one thing--to the very center of the Jacob Black.
I could fly that now--how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was young. The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.
It was the wrinkles girl in the stupid vampire's arms that held me here now.
Pomit.
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