Reasons library school shouldn't exist

Oh wait, there's only one:

• It is an institution that tries to outdo any rocket science and quantum physics program in collecting as many odd and socially awkward people together to meet and become friends.
  

See also: the Library Ladies Slumber Party we had last night. Just the fact that we find the need to call ourselves Library Ladies like we are in a teen drama show should indicate something in and of itself, but don't take my word for it. I will briefly review the highlights of the amazingness that was last night.

1. Danielle brought $20 worth of J-14, Bop, Tiger Beat and god knows what other glorious abominations to my house and we ripped out the posters and took quizzes letting us know which Jonas Brother is in love with us. Or something. There will be pictures in the future of the amazing RPattz and Kristen Stewart pictures I am now in the possession of once they go up on my wall. Don't you fret.
   
2. Apples to Apples is always a good time, but I noticed the single greatest thing about the game. While the puns in the noun descriptions are always a good time, Puff Daddy's blurb makes him my new automatic win card so remember that in case we ever play. It actually says, "'I'll be missing you' shot him to stardom." How does that even exist?!? [emphasis mine]
3. Speaking of Apples to Apples automatic win cards, Meghan imparted these wise words: "Helen Keller is the golden snitch of Apples to Apples." So true.
   
4. In other Apples to Apples happenings, we discovered that Cara=Blair Waldorf. Her adjectives are: mystical, timeless, wicked, glamorous, cold, luxurious, delicate, and sultry. I have yet to read Gossip Girls or watch it, but I am assured this is fact.
   
5. An event that is too glorious for words. You will have to wait until I post the pictures. Tingle with utmost anticipation because it is the single most ridiculous moment of my life.
   
6. Meghan shared a story that would ordinarily be heartbreaking and slightly adorable if not for the fact that it was had at 4 am. After Breaking Dawn was released, a woman went to the cemetery every day to read the book to her deceased teenage daughter because she was obsessed with Twilight but passed away before the release of the new book. We then had this inappropriate conversation:
   
   Sara:It's probably better that she died before that book came out.
   Me: [Meyer] could have stopped with Eclipse.
   Danielle: [The Twilight Saga] should never have existed.
   Me: How could you say such blasphemous words!? What would I write about on my blog?
   Lisa: What would Kristi(e)'s dog be named?
   
   The last bit from Lisa refers to the fact that I want to name my future female pug Renesmee. It is clearly the best name anyone could ever give their pet, if not their first born. In fact, if it wasn't for my dedication to my 2nd grade dream to name my daughter Claudia after the vice-prez of the BSC I might consider it (okay, false... I was just pulling your leg; however, the pug's appellation really is going to be Renesmee).
   
7. Twi-friggin'-light Madlibs. We completed two, but I will share the best one:
   
   "So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping he would, thought it seemed swimmingly. I couldn't picture him loading up to jizz with the rest of the pants from school; he didn't belong in the same world. But just hoping that he might gave me my first twinge of ejaculation I'd felt for the outing.
   
   "Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, bouncy, moist.
   
   "Down to your mom's house, to the grotto." I studied his face, trying to read it. His eyes seemed to narrow hauntingly.
   
   He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, fornicating chagriningly. "I really don't think I was invited."
   
   I sighed. "I just invited you."
   
   "Let's you and I not push poor Bonus Jonas any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His eyes dance; he was enjoying the idea more than he should.

Speaking of Bonus Jonas, it's time for one of those now that we reach the end of the sleep over.

BONUS JONAS: We obviously had to look up the jizz in my pants digital short from SNL after the Mad Libs, and the first result I got back was Harry Potter jizz in my pants. Um.... AMAZING?! Oh wait, and I just found this johnson just now: Twilight jizz in my pants. Oh biology scene...